>>ATTENTION ALL MICROSOFT USERS
It has come to the attention of Microsoft that several copies of a Geordie version of Windows 2000, otherwise known as "Windaz Too-Thoosand", may have accidentally been shipped out of Newcastle.
If you have one of the Newcastle editions, you may need some help understanding the commands. You will be able to tell immediately if you have a copy of Windaz 2000 by the egg-timer being replaced by a bottle of Brown Ale and a Grammar Check that automatically ends every sentence with a simile. Kna worra mean like ?
Windaz Too-Thoosand does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.
The Recycle Bin is labelled "Sh*te"
Dialup Networking is called "Me mates"
Control Panel is known as "How we f**k aboot wi the settins"
The hard disk drive (C
is referred to as "The flashin light on the frontt"
Other features to note:
Ok - 'Alreet'
Cancel - 'F**k that'
Yes - 'WhyAye'
No - 'Haddaway an sh*te'
Goto - 'Owa there'
Help - 'Haway man ah cannit dee it'
Personal Folder/My Documents - 'Aall Me sh*te'
Applications exclusive to Windaz 2000:
Tipe Rita - a word processor
Cullarin Book - a graphics package
Addin Masheen - a calculator
Dole 2000 - accounting software
Readers Wives - Internet Explorer