This is the sort of thing I was talking about (before, that is, Big Brother locked the thread).

Interesting article Geoff.

Good point Geoff. There seems to be a trend within government run establishments to use "baboon speak" as if to show that it is more intellectual!!?? Also the use of acronyms is definitely on the rise, KWIM!!!!

Here's some more:-

Imagination at work ... not a bad slogan for an imaging company, I suppose.

Evolutionizing the acute point of care ... I give up!

Because you care ... doesn't everybody?

Saving lives worldwide ... very imaginative!

Does anyone have any more they would like to add to the list?

This is my favorite - An American politician when being interviewed on ABC news was asked about her views on Iraq, quote "Its a success that has not happened yet".

I have no idea what that means!

DW - Still trying to work out whats going on.

As the Government of the United Kingdom is now mostly Scottish it may be baboon speak to some or it might be this - A language all to their owm those Scots!

DW - William Wallace's Tartan Army!

Yeah, wasn't there another classic a few years ago (on the same topic, namely Iraq), something like:-

"There are known unknowns, and unknown unknowns"!

No further comment!

Another cracker from our "cousins" across the pond! A REME MDSS technician on E.D.O.C.S course in the states during lunch in the Sergeants Mess:

American Soldier: "I am really glad you guys are on our side when we invade Iran"

REME Soldier: "We are not going to Iran - we are going to Iraq"

American Soldier: "What's the differance?"

You have to love them! - - - - NOT!

DW - Still on the Daftside

Actually, Mate ... Baboon Speak, and just plain dumb are two different things entirely!

But I'll bet that the REME bloke got good grub over there, all the same.

So true Geoff - but i had to put it on here!

All the Best - DW

Has the world gone mad i ask you all - I think the UK tax payer has better things that money should be spent on but this is mad .

DW - Looking forward to my trip to Gibraltar!

DW

Can you bring back a Barbary Ape. Our Chief Exex is leaving and they are recruiting another one. I figure the Ape could probably do as good a job!

Yes, Darth, this once great nation of ours slipped beyond the P-trap some years ago now, I say with deep regret.

I don't know your "leader" of course, Dicky ... but I do know something about apes. As long as he is the alpha-male, I believe you can be assured that the ape would do a better job of leading his troop(s).

Geoff

She was (is) an Alpha Female. We are just wondering if it's a question of ships being deserted.

Come on, Dicky ... now you're mixing your metaphors. That's rats, not apes!

Not Sure if this is the right place to put this - I think this should be in a Topic called I have seen it all now.

I had to go on a job to the Nato Airforce Base yesterday and this is what happened:

We went for a brew before the job in the cafe and a SPAM (American) came in, while at the bar she ordered a diet coke, a normal coke and a half and half coke. At this point i was rather confused, she ordered a drink that was half diet and half normal coke at which point she said - "I could do with a little less suger today" to the barmaid.

The best part was she was having a fully loaded burger and chips, the thing that confused me was the fact it was half past eight in the morning!

They really are SPAMS!

Referance my Last - The morning got better, the barmaid was telling me that when the SPAMS bring their kids into the bar and they have a coke its too cold for the kids so she has to heat it up in the microwave.

"It's my bahdy and I'll do what I like with it!"

PS: just imagine, some poor dumb-ass guy has to "love" that!

Yes, Darth, this is not really Baboon Speak per se. More like gross idiocy of the most alarming (or should that be pathetic) kind, I would suggest. Unless, that is, you want to spell out for us all what SPAM is meant to stand for?

PS: and what is even more alarming (to my mind, at least), is those are exactly the same type of people who take it upon themselves to stomp around the world telling everyone else (the Brits included - or should that be especially) what to do. And they do it with bombs and guns too! Frightening, isn't it?

SPAM [not an acronym] written spam -- slang name for Unsolicited Commercial Email (UCE; junk/bulk email)
SPAM Spiced Ham (Hormel canned pork developed in 1937)
SPAM Scanning Photo-Acoustic Microscopy
SPAM Schools of the Pacific Atmospheric Monitoring
SPAM Search Pattern Assessment Model
SPAM Service Provisioning and Account Management
SPAM SGML Parser Add Markup
SPAM Shelter, Portable, Air Mobile
SPAM Shelter, Protective, Aircraft Maintenance
SPAM Shoulder of Pork & Ham (Hormel canned pork developed in 1937)
SPAM Slant Path Attenuation Model (antennas)
SPAM Society for Palmtop Advancement through Meetings (San Francisco, CA)
SPAM Society for the Preservation of Amplitude Modulation
SPAM Society for the Publication of American Music
SPAM Society of Properties Artisan Managers
SPAM Some Place Around Montana / Missouri / Massachusetts / Mississippi / Maine :-)
SPAM Space Planning and Management (University of Missouri - Columbia)
SPAM Spectral Processing and Manipulation (Ocean Optics)
SPAM State Police Association of Massachusetts
SPAM Stop Pornography and Abusive Marketing Act
SPAM Strike Package and Associated Messages (tactical Tomahawk weapon control system)
SPAM Student Peer Abstinence Movement (Montana)
SPAM Survey Processing and Management
SPAM Systems Personnel Activity Meeting (Yale)
SPAM Superfluous Pieces of Additional Mail

Ed

Not really having the time (or the inclination) to wade through that little lot ... perhaps someone could indicate (for the benefit of others, rather than myself), which acronym Darth would have had in mind?

For a change, here's an example of Clear Speak. It was uttered yesterday by one of our august leaders, and I can't help but wonder if he didn't pick it up from my blog!

" ... the size of your wealth matters less than the strength of your character; a life of joy and fulfillment can be lived in the service of others; to be tested by adversity is not a fate to be feared, but a challenge to be overcome".

SPAM - I would rather not say what a SPAM is, in case i upset our "friends" across the pond.

My wife wanted to buy a pair of shoes the cost Euro 340 on Saturday - I have only just recovered from the shock!

DW - Still Recovering and in need of a brandy or new wife.

Nothing to do with tinned luncheon meat, then?

That was good Geoff!

I read somewhere that:

'political correctness was a deliberate avoidance of the truth'

hence baboon speak!!!

Actually the origins of the term Baboon Speak had nothing at all to do with the "management speak" that we're referring to in this thread. But it does serve that purpose just as well, methinks!

See also Baboon Speak I (for those who may have missed it).

Having read the link above, I am sure it was a made up word like my all time favorite "Bouncebackability"

DW - Having a good time this christmas in far away lands.

...which, if my memory serves me, was a word invented by Ian Dowie when he was manager of Crystal Palace. Apparently, he uttered it when being interviewed by Sky Sports.

Naitch

Ian Dowie is credited with the first use of bouncebackability

Yes, but who was it (within earshot of Yours Truly, at any rate) who should be credited with the first use of the term Baboon Speak?

Hint (clue):- it was at a place not far from where Eddie Hughes sits today.

Mecca?

Ishaddah! No Mate. I'd better come clean (again). I'd forgotten you were at Jeddah! The scene I was thinking of actually took place in the old Project Offices (huts) near to your sister hospital at Kash'm A'lan. And the gentleman in question was my old buddy the Dutch-Canadian architect. I won't relate the details of the occasion ... but I imagine you can guess at the sort of thing.

Oh yes!

The 1st use of term baboon speak may have happened in 1977

DW - Do I have to really fly Ryan Air this weekend?

Can't imagine why you're looking at sites like that, Darth. Dark indeed.

But you have to be careful with Baboons (especially the Alpha Male when there are females and young about). I can't remember if I've mentioned before the time I was out jogging along along a track in the Asir Mountains (in the south of Saudi Arabia).

It was early afternoon, sunny and bright, but not too hot (at 10,000 feet). All of a sudden, I noticed that the far side of the valley appeared to be moving ... and indeed it was. There must have been hundreds (if not a thousand) of them, all on the move. Feeling a bit outnumbered, especially when the bellowing (barking?) started, I immediately legged it (with seemingly fresh vim and vigour) back over the hill to the camp!

Sod that for a game of Soldiers - The only time i have done a runner was being chased along a railway line in my bare feet by an angry husband, the thing was my mate was the one who was being intimate with his wife I had already been intimate with her sister who was single!

DW - Oh the joys of youth!

Soldier? No, that was as a civvy (when I said "camp" I suppose I should have said "job-site" - as in new hospital construction).

By the way (and although I'd better not start telling my war stories here), I've been shot at more times since leaving the mob than I ever was in it. Once (accidentally ... I think) by an old boy out hunting (baboons, perhaps) near the same spot as I've mentioned above (back in 1984 that was), and again more recently whilst jogging out in the desert at another location! On that second one, I went back later to confirm my suspicions, and sure enough the empty cases were lying there (they were 5.56).

As i believe the polititians of the world do in fact 90% of the time speak "Baboon Speak" it was nice to find a straight talking one - namely Harold Wilson, this did amuse me!

Politicians speaking before live audiences have less latitude to deal with hecklers. Legally, such conduct may constitute protected free speech. Strategically, coarse or belittling retorts to hecklers entails personal risk disproportionate to any gain. Some politicians, however, have been known to improvise a relevant and witty response despite these pitfalls. One acknowledged expert at this was Harold Wilson, British Prime Minister in the 1960s:

Heckler: (interrupting a passage in a Wilson speech about Labour's spending plans) What about Vietnam?
Wilson: The government has no plans to increase public expenditure in Vietnam.
Heckler: Rubbish!
Wilson: I'll come to your special interest in a minute, sir.

DW - Damm the eyes of MEPS & their perks!