Senior health care solution


You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 MP’s and 2 Ministers – not necessarily dead!

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, and all the health care you need! New teeth - no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. (And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).

And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.


Lee

Just as long as you don't drop the soap in the shower!

regarding the above comment, With the fuss over George Michael going to prison, who thinks he is REALLY looking forward to it..

George 'oh dear I have dropped the soap again'

27 beefed up prisoners 'Give us a break Georgie we are knackered'

George 'Oh come on lovies, all I want is some #Fastlove#'

I hope he enjoys his porridge.

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says,
'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to
be able to see them every day, for eternity.'

The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her bag,drinks it down. Then, wees into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.'

Dolly is outraged and asks,
'What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She wees into a toilet and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?'

'Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel, 'but even in Heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair - no matter how big they are.'

George Michael hasn't been in the music charts recently, so it was an act of sheer desperation when his publicist put out the news that his last 3 hits were a Rover, a Renault and a Volvo!

The England football team is now to be sponsored by Spillers dog foods but trade descriptions will not let them put Winalot on their shirts.

paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. next day the farmer tells paddy that the donkey has died. Paddy asks for his £100 back but the farmer says he has spent it. Ok then bring me the dead donkey says paddy. What are you going to do with it? says the farmer.
I am going to raffle it.
You cant raffle a dead donkey.
You watch me! says Paddy, I just wont tell anyone he is dead.

A month later the farmer meets Paddy.
How did your raffle go? he said
Went Ok I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made £898.00 said Paddy.
Didnt anyone complain?

Only the guy who won, so i gave him his two pound back!'

I here they brought the Chilean miners up Juan by Juan!

The first task of the Chilean miners is to go over to Anfield.
They're going to advise Roy Hodgson on how to get out of a great f***ing big hole before Christmas.