A blonde from Romford bought a deodorant stick today from Boots. She'd never used one before, so she diligently read the instructions -

"Remove top and slowly push up bottom".

She's in the Casualty Ward of Queen's Hospital at the moment, not feeling too good - but her f#rts smell lovely!!!

Remember I was asking (asking? Pleading, more like!) for an M400 Mellotron? Well.....

I'VE NOW GOT ONE!