From a book of Hospital Jokes I recently got. Top 10 reasons to become a nurse: 1) Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good. 2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms. 3) Needles:"tis better to give than receive." 4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops .....eventually. 5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases. 6) interesting aromas. 7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting. 8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world. 9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends - at work. 10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive,no matter what you do to them.
You know you're a nurse if: You believe not all patients are annoying... some are unconcious.
Your sense of humour seems to get more warped each year.
You can tell the time with a 24hr clock.
Almost everything can seem humourous ... eventually.
When asked 'What colour is the patient's diarrhoea?' you show them your shoes.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.
You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and caused someone at another table to throw up.
You notice that you use more four-letter words now than before you became a nurse.
Every time someone asks for a pen, you can usually find at least three of them on you.
You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless its your own.
You've told a confused patient your name was that of your co - worker and to shout if they need help.
You find yourself checking out other customers' arm veins in grocery queues.
You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break sitting up and not be embarressed when you wake up.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
