The Tesco Doctor
>
> One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
> behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a
> doctor!"
>
> Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike
> replies.
>
> There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine
> sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about
> it.
>
> It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker
> and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points".
>
> So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
> Tesco.
>
>
> He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for
> the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
>
> Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
> "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
> heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".
>
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
> Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
>
> He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine
> samples from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the
> mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check
> what would happen.
>
> He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
> results with a grin. The computer prints the following:
>
> 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>
> 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>
> 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>
> 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a
> lawyer..
>
> 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
> never get better....
>
Thank you for shopping at Tesco

Lee


Don't forget "we've never had it so good".