The Tesco Doctor > > One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike > behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a > doctor!" > > Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike > replies. > > There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine > sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about > it. > > It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker > and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points". > > So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to > Tesco. > > > He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for > the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. > > Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: > "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid > heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks". > > That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, > Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. > > He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine > samples from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the > mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check > what would happen. > > He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the > results with a grin. The computer prints the following: > > 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. > > 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. > > 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. > > 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a > lawyer.. > > 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will > never get better.... > Thank you for shopping at Tesco