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Sorry Geoff I wasn't offering, just suggesting some options when you come to write your contracts for the lucky applicants!

Our Workshop looks out onto a courtyard with buildings on all four sides. One morning we noticed a pair of mallards in the courtyard. Nurse asks " eeh, how did they get in there?" !

I had a dental hygeinist phone in a fault on a Cavitron descaler. I took the call and knew the particular member of staff to be a bit absent minded. Iasked "Is it plugged in and switched on?" she went away ... checked ... came back on the phone and said yes, but its still not working.

So, i went over, checked it, it was switched on at the unit, and it was plugged in, but she had not switched on the power at the 13A socket. I left her red faced.

We have three courtyards inside our new build and to save damage to the walls from ladders there is a stainless steel tube right the way around each of them just under the roof line. This was an ideal perch for pigeons which left huge deposits on the windows below.

To stop this a net was suspended over each courtyard.

Unfortunately the people putting the net up trapped 3 pigeons inside, which had to be shot.

Lee

At the GRH you can keep an eye on the Peregrines via the webcam!

PS: perhaps one of our friends there could give us the link, so we can all enjoy the spectacle of them swooping down at 180 mph! But it won't be quite like this though!

Too many to mention

Always like the “The monitor wont switch on”

Go up there to find no mains lead attached

Also was told of a nurse wondering why a mouse wouldn’t work.. Problem is she was waving the thing in the air trying to get it to work.. hmmz

I had a dialysis assistant, who was slightly scatty, ring up one morning to say that machine No. 5 was not working. Eventually I ascertained that it wasn't plugged into the 30A outlet. She phoned back 2 minutes late to say that it was continually alarming. Again, after loads of questions she turned the water on.
She finally rang again after a further 15 minutes to say that machine No.5 had now flooded the whole of the unit due to the waste not being connected!!! She was directed to the mop and bucket unit.

Isn't all the above "the norm"?

Personally if I was given an accurate description of the fault (i.e. no cryptic babble to decipher) it would throw me completely.

Yes, Paul, I would agree that it is (as you say) "the norm". Not only that, but it's part of the reason that biomed services always need to be available on site (that is, rather than remotely). "Hand-holding" has always been (and probably will always remain) part of the job.

Being told "On the CTG monitor, its printer has run out of ink". Even though the staff are told ever time that it doesnt have ink!! D'OH!!