EBME Forums Forums Free discussion Out of Hours What's Wrong With Using English?

I recently came across this one on the NHS Jobs website:-

"The Modernisation and Reform Directorate of ... Community Health Services requires a Lean Technician to work as an expert member of the Modernisation and Reform Team to develop and implement lean initiatives and service improvement projects, engaging with a wide range of stakeholders in order to implement and embed a culture of continuous improvement and modernisation within ... Community Health Services".

Can anyone decode what this Baboon Speak actually means? "Lean Technician"? Obviously I am missing something here. And remember that this is just an extract from the preamble. If you enjoy this sort of ****, then let me recommend the full job description!

Although I am well aware that us indigenous English have become an oppressed group in (what used to be) our own country, you would have thought that anyone in a position to be offering £29 to £38k for this Band 7 "post" would be able to write clearly using the Queen's English. Especially as the "job" will undoubtedly be allocated to someone for whom English is not their first language!

A lean technician is someone that analyses business processes to improve efficiency. Is that better Geoff?

As I thought. Yet another "pen pusher" in a public sector (pensionable) non-job at my expense!

If the job is that of a "Business Processes Analyzer", why do they soil the word "technician"? Don't tell me ... this invaluable person will be running "workshops"!

PS: yes, I had caught the gist of the thing. Especially as the job description mentions that the "successful applicant" may expect to spend most of his (her) time in front of a computer screen. Hopefully, then, by the end of the first year they will have fathomed out how to use not only the spelling checker, but also the dictionary (and, who knows, even the thesaurus) as well.

Improving efficiency? Sounds like the first thing to be cut needs to be their own post!

It's a long time since I was a lean technician .... unless of course that is forwards under the gravitational effect

I think you will find I am the definitive lean technician - at 5'9" (175 cm metric) and 154 lbs. I am proud to say that as I rapidly reach 40, my waist is still a lot less han my chest size

OMG You lucky light weight!

Ed

So is Lean Management finally caught up in GB? In crude term, it is cutting waste and also start people into thinking through processes. But my question has always been this: lean management emanates from the car production system and now that healthcare has caught up with this. Can it really work here?

No! The obvious way to instantly free up £££ millions for use by the sick and needy in the British National Health Service is to cull thousands of non-jobs such as the one in point! Not only will all those "managers" not even be missed, their demise will actually increase the efficiency of the real workers by getting out of the damned way!

PS: Remember, though Roger, that this is Modern Britain we're talking about. That is, a wonderous Kingdom where we have such positions as "Street Football Co-ordinators" and "Open Spaces Facilitators" (that is, teaching kids to play ... supposedly) on the Public Service payroll. And "Outreach Officers" and all the rest of that PC BS. I could go on, but have no wish to bore you (just as it surely bores me) ...

OK man! I see the point now and because crises happen almost everywhere now, the avoidance of such arrangements or happenings is inevitable.

Regrettably, as far as I can tell, stuff like this carries on regardless of any crises, whether real or imagined (should that be orchestrated?). That's one of the things that makes Modern Britain such a place of wonder. Just as long, that is, as your snout is in the trough, lapping up the gravy! Mine isn't, unfortunately.