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Statistics

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same:

We wouldn't need thermonuclear devices to wipe them out, a few of well placed grenades would do it. We could wipe out the lot of them thus leaving the world a better place - no humans to screw the place up. Eden all over again but without Adam or Eve.....

If you really believe in all that mumbo jumbo, Mate ... how come you're not "back home" doing something about putting it right?

And anyway, the list is incomplete. How many:-

1) Muslims
2) Jews
3) Benefits scroungers
4) Illegal immigrants
5) Terrorists
6) Disabled folk
7) Prisoners
8) Members of armed forces
9) Police officers
10) Smokers
11) Druggies
12) BMW drivers
13) Motor cyclists
14) Nutters
15) Elvis impersonators
16) Paedophiles
17) Alcoholics
18) Water buffalo
19) Arabs
20) Taxpayers
21) Chinese
22) Indians
23) British
24) Public Sector workers
25) Nurses ... etc., etc.

And, er, biomeds?

And (lastly) of the many "disadvantaged" mentioned, how many are prepared to simply squat on their haunches with their hands out (usually whilst the women folk do all the work)? But fear not, Overseas Aid from UK Tax-payers has been "ring fenced" whilst services (and road maintenance, and all the rest) in the UK itself disintegrate towards Third World levels.

One day soon, the "Global Village" (which is just more BS, by the way) will indeed have a Level Playing Field. That is, when we are all dragged down to the lowest common denominator. True Equality. Yeah, great ... the Law of the Jungle:- no more Yuman Rights then! Bring it on.

At least the drive into work would be a bit more pleasant!

Three things cannot be hidden. The sun, the moon, and the truth.

One of the more encouraging thoughts I like to bear in mind is that, left to its own devices, Nature will be able to totally regain the planet within thirty years of Mankind's departure.

Ahh Neil - would that it were so.....
The Sun is frequently hidden by the moon during an eclipse, and even more frequently hidden by clouds, as is the moon. As for truth - the government and statisticians hide that all the time.

Teflon, what are clouds??? 88 degrees at 07:00 this morning and this is a cool day it has been hotter in recent weeks

Clouds are the hot air politicians and statisticians produce full of lies and spurious figures. All this stuff collects into fluffy stuff and blows around the skies. Tends to be a rarity when politicians are kept to a minimum by a strong monarchy, especially in states where the Qur'an gives the constitution.

I do miss that dry heat. I was in Al Qassim Province most of the time, and I actually liked it a lot.....

Never answer an anonymous letter.

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

People used to explore the dimensions of reality by taking LSD to make the world look weird.
Now the world is weird and they take Prozac to make it look normal.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

One of the lessons of history is that ‘Nothing’ is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly