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Ah John my confrere, back to serious matters, hmm the perfect design for a workshop. Electronic? Anaesthetic? Or both? Either way my friend ones technicians should each have ample room in which to perpetrate their daily activities, lets take the case of the anaestronic tech, he should have a comfortable workstation with an area around him to work on some of the more larger anaesthetic machines, complete with a full subvention of medical gases at his instant disposal(not loose flakey paint falling on his/her head). Plenty of sockets for test equipment etc. a phone/coms socket, plenty of cupboard space for tools etc. I am currently flowering a website and will soon be asking for some pictures of your various kennels (departmental designs also welcome). I will place these on the site and you can decide. Meantime my friends, get your fellow brethren on board for the grand gathering.

Friends, I can now show you evidence of our plight. Please cast your introspectionary pupils below to see the poor conditions suffered by our compatriots in Outer Strathclyde EBME.

Oh , sufferance my friends. Sufferance.

<a href="http://www.billhatcher.net/Pics/Garden-shed.JPG" alt=" - " />click here</a>

May I be so bold to advise the readers that North Manchester EBME Department has the best facilities for both Anaesthetic and Electronic repair which I have seen!


Guy's do I still have to pay into your coffee fund now?

Ah Mark my fellow functional, please ascertain one's direction, this is my point, you and I are both qualified skilled integral components of our establishments, we both slave for the same employer, you however, are blessed with a 5 star kennel, where I my friend, am not!

John, Alex, Karl, the recovering Edgar, and all my fellow proficient's I call on your undying profoundness and ask you to join me in this crusade, what's good for North Manchester is indeed, good for us!

Alas I work there no more, except the occassional call out or routine service visit, as now I work for an outside company
I would however agree with you on the basic standard of most EBME Departments which I have seen on my travels.....Porta-cabins are not the best!!.. but they do seem to be the norm. The basement is another common one, an old canteen, or next too the "special clinic" ( North Manchester Ha Ha. )

This is not to say that the welcome one normally receives is anything less than excellent of course!

I have always found that good manners are a universal language! which cuts both ways.

My dear Louis; whilst I applaud the skill and tenacity in which you've attempted to incite your peers into all out rebellion against their masters on the subject of suitable accommodation; I fear that your plea for support is but falling on stony ground. However I thought that you at least deserved a modicum of support from one of the mere-plebs (earning a meagre existence at the "sharp-end' of the NHS) for your almost patriarchal interest in the well-being of your colleagues.

My own view is that when one is used to living in a kennel and one is, shall I say, less than satisfied with ones lot; it's easy to respond by biting the hand that feeds one, rather than accepting the meals dished out. However, this rather shabby behaviour is not the done-thing. This said; the danger of being complacent is very real: one is inclined to grow accustomed to living in ones own excrement (to a lesser or greater extent) and that of ones NHS professionals working directly above them.

One unfortunate consequence of this condition is that excrement tends to stick somewhat (like a limpet, in the colloquial-sense) and it has a somewhat more pungent odour the higher one ascends. Certainly, the associated stigma has led to the less than civil behaviour from our professional colleagues in the NHS (who are working outside the almost mystical realms of engineering and science) and a feeling that we are not wanted perhaps. I will agree on that aspect.

So, it appears that a happy medium must be struck between biting the hand that feeds one whilst avoiding the intake of ones own (and others) excrement in the process. Of course, this necessitates the act of treading carefully to avoid the many pitfalls of bringing attention to ones suffering whilst avoiding rubbing ones masters nose in it, so to speak.

Unfortunately, on the subject of accommodation, ones masters will never appreciate the importance of suitable accommodation, as there is an associated financial and planning implication to this aspect; otherwise known as enhanced workload. However, from my past experiences: one quick-fix solution to the problem of what to do with the excess 'merde'; (or should I say: the "clean sweep' approach) might be to allow private companies to take on this aspect.

Giving a private concern free reign in the implementation of a first-class kennel arrangement (such as that at Hope Hospital, Salford, which I believe it is a five-star billet run by a foreign company whose name escapes me) unties the hands of our NHS masters. I believe the kennels there are hosed down on a weekly basis.

Ostentation my dear Richard, ostentation, however, whilst I gratefully accept ones applause and excellent,diplomatic input to the cause, are we not entitled, my sympathizer's, to the same menu as our fellow functional's when it comes to dinner time. I accept what yourself, Mr Mundy, Mark, John, Alex, and the recovering Dr. Carnoustie are saying about ones loyalty to our fellow compatriots and I bow to their knowledgeable comprehension but going back to what our dear Alex wrote, and I quote...

"Once we get united as a profession and agree to standard work practice and protocols, facilities should come as part of our professional standard"

then is it not, my fellow Amphitryon's, up to our masters to sit around the table and ensure a better class of kennel for all of our futures.

I notice this excellent cyber station has an "EBME Steering Group" what are their thoughts on an "acceptable standard of facility"?

On a final note, my dear Richard, you mention PFI, can I call upon any of our fellow functionals at Hope EBME for their input, is your kennel a 5 star shrine ?

Louis, I am taken aback, almost to the point of speechlessness, by the selflessness, the supreme motivation and sheer commitment of others (namely those of the said EBME steering group); taking it upon themselves to stand up for what is right by representing the unloved, unwashed and dispossessed of the EBME fraternity.

Surely we will eventually force our masters to love us all and take us unto the NHS bosom where we will suckle contentedly. Without the need for remunerative or titular appreciation and may I say, in such a wholeheartedly philanthropic fashion; the steering group could be the answer. Such gallant deeds should not go unrewarded.

Our 'band of brothers' must surely be made fully aware of the sacrifices that others are making for them - let us know who these individuals are so that we can pledge fealty to them and festoon them with the accolades they deserve. Such altruism is to be applauded (again); Ostentation (piled on ostentation) as you say. By the way; who has taken up the sword from the stone? Who is to lead us into battle?

Ah, I would not want to lob a spanner into a well-oiled, machine but I am concerned that ones masters would scoff at the machinations of an unrecognised, non-elected, dare I say it, possibly non-representative EBME steering group?

In answer to your question Louis: the kennels at Hope no longer seem to have a connection with reality. The synergism between NHS 'host' and the aforementioned 'parasite' organisation has no need for one, it seems.

ARR I WONDERED HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE FOR THE SUBJECT OF PARASITIC ORGANISATIONS TO CROP UP.
AS I SIT UNDER THE SHADE OF MY COOLABONG TREE SIPPING MY RUM PUNCH THROUGH A CE MARKED STRAW OUT OF A QA TESTED GLASS I HAVE OFTEN WONDERED WHY WE GIVE SUCH ORGANISATIONS SO MUCH ASSISTANCE IN THE EXTERMINATION OF OUR KIND.
WHY MY FRIENDS DONT WE DEAL WITH THEM AS ONE OF KENNY EVERETTS CHARACTERS USED TO DEAL WITH HIS
"HERD THEM INTO A FIELD AND BOMB THEM.
ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE TAKEN IN THE HUMOUR THEY ARE GIVEN.

Of PFI and PPP - the Public-Private Party where NHS guests must join in and share the fun if your new masters are to enjoy those finer things in life. The 'You bring a bottle to celebrate and we'll drink it' kind of soiree. Possibly the 'You hum it and we'll play it' sort of tea party (whose chimpanzee's are magnificent sight to behold - not at all degrading in the least). It is all so clear how it should be.

Yes Karl, it is apparent that you too are a connoisseur, whose discernment has enabled one to appreciate only the finer things in life. Your all-embracing erudition is a delight to behold and in such pharisaic prose as to make me weep. However, I feel you are not fully expanding on your evident cognisance by giving as capacious an explanation as our peers anticipate in these hallowed pages. How do we dispel this scourge from our fair land without recourse to a 'scorched earth' policy?

Hmm, on reflection, your ideas are somewhat radical but not unreasonable; sadly the logistics might be beyond the capabilities of somewhat, may I venture to say it, limited resources? My inclination would be to emancipate the said individuals and embark on some form of rehabilitation, forgiving their sins therby delivering them from evil - AMEN. A clean (albeit basic) kennel, a diet of thin gruel and frequent purgative procedures will be sufficient in the first instance, I think.