A hospital porter had been out drinking with his mates - and had a few too many. He staggered out of the pub, tripped, hit his head on a lampost and fell unconcious in the gutter. An ambulance duly arrived and whisked him off to the local hospital where he worked. When he came to, he was told that they had sent some blood samples off and were getting a scan organised, which happened a few minutes later. Everything was looking good - until his blood results came back. Several doctors, sisters and nurses gathered round the foot of his bed, muttering and whispering and he was told that they were moving him to a side room to give him more privacy (being as how he was a member of staff).
They moved him into a small room with a washbasin and an en-suite bathroom - which he was most impressed with. Then a doctor came to see him - but didn't come into the room, just poked his head round the door ! He said "We know whats wrong with you, you've got GASH"
Porter - "What's GASH ?".
Doctor - "It's a mixture of Gonorrhoea, Aids, Syphilis and Herpes."
Porter - "Good God ! What are you going to do ?"
Doctor - "Well, we're going to keep you in here and feed you lots of pancakes".
Porter - "Pancakes ! Will they get me better ?"
Doctor - "No, but its the only thing we can slide under the door!"
