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Joined: Jun 2000
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Huw Online Content OP
Hero
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Hero
Joined: Jun 2000
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Likes: 8
It's been a while since we posted here, so these are from the Edinburgh Fringe...


I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ I think I might have florets.
Olaf Falafel

Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.
Richard Stott

What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh.
Milton Jones

A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows.'
Jake Lambert

A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it.
Ross Smith

Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning.
Ross Smith

I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it.
Adele Cliff

After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging.
Richard Pulsford

To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian.
Mark Simmons

I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts.
Ivo Graham

Joined: Jun 2009
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Philosopher
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Philosopher
Joined: Jun 2009
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Tom the plumber decided he had to separate from his wife Florence after 20 plus years of marriage. Through the tears he said to her "it's over Flo"

eek


Thoughts and information provided on this forum are mine and mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the policy of NSW Health. They may also be complete bollocks!!
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Hero
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Hero
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He certainly flushed that marriage down the drain


If you think hiring professionals is expensive, try hiring amateurs!
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Master
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Master
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Posts: 325
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What a drip.

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 20
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Dreamer
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Dreamer
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Another old one (may be one of Billy Connolly's)

What's the definition of a "Groovy kind of love?"

A corduroy condom.

1 member likes this: John Sandham
Joined: Oct 2002
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Expert
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Expert
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Christmas cracker offering:

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

He had it toad.

Merry Christmas everyone! :-)

1 member likes this: John Sandham
Joined: Jul 2000
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Hero
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Hero
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Posts: 1,883
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How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf. laugh

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
It’s finally Christmas Eve! grin

What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling?
Mistletoad. grin


Be Proactive and reactive.
1 member likes this: Moira
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