During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, the man from the back of the theatre yelled, "How'd you do that?" "I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then. Just tell my wife!"
A man and his blonde wife live in Chicago. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplough can get through." Jay's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplough can get through." Jay's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...", then the electric power goes out. Jay's wife says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Jay says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she drove the boat to shore and safely docked it. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was reading a novel. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I'm having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes."
Remember I was asking (asking? Pleading, more like!) for an M400 Mellotron? Well.....
