Troops

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who have been offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however, realise the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, the following list of 13 new and innovative 'TRY SAYING'
phrases have been provided so that a proper exchange of ideas and
information can continue in a non-offensive manner.

1.

Try Saying:

I think you could do with more training

Instead Of:

You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?

2.

Try Saying:

She's an aggressive go-getter.

Instead Of:

She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch

3.

Try Saying:

Perhaps I can work late

Instead Of:

And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

4.

Try Saying:

I'm certain that isn't feasible

Instead Of:

F*** off a*se-hole

5.

Try Saying:

Really?

Instead Of:

Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole

6.

Try Saying:

Perhaps you should check with...

Instead Of:

Tell someone who gives a f***.

7.

Try Saying:

I wasn't involved in the project.

Instead Of:

Not my f***ing problem, mate.

8.

Try Saying:

That's interesting.

Instead Of:

What the f***?

9.

Try Saying:

I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.

Instead Of:

No f***ing chance mate.

10.

Try Saying:

It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in

Instead Of:

Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?

11.

Try Saying:

He's not familiar with the issues

Instead Of:

He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.

12.

Try Saying:

Excuse me, sir?

Instead Of:

Oi, f*** face.

13.

Try Saying:

Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway

Instead Of:

Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own.