I was visiting my daughter and son-in-law the other night and I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.

'We don't waste money on newspapers.

Here, you can borrow my iPad.'

I can tell you, that bloody wasp never knew what hit it.

My spelling is not bad. I am typing this on a Medigenic keyboard and I blame that for all my typos.