My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, But pressure. Is she right? - Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
When is the best time to get an epidural? - Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is In labor? - Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position? - Authorized personnel only -- doctors, nurses, Biomeds, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.
Does labor cause hemorrhoids? - Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.
Where is the best place to store breast milk? - In your breasts.
Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps? - Yes, baby lips.
What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? - It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
How does one sanitize nipples? - Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.
I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? - With any luck, right after he finishes college.
How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? - If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Cheers, Runesmith
Bored-at-work epiphany: the volume of a pizza with the radius 'z' and thickness 'a' is equal to pi*z*z*a
